Support Dementia Caregivers

Keeping your loved one (with dementia) living with you as long as possible is most likely the most stressful situation you have encountered in your lifetime. On the flip side some of us have kids and spouses and grandchildren and taking on a later stage dementia relative into your household will be like nothing you have imagined as far an increase in major responsibilities.

Community, support and people who can relate to what you are going through are fundamental and necessary for maintaining your physical and mental health. Remember to breathe deeply when you are frustrated and remember dementia patients in the hospital require more personal care and attention then one, two or even three or more trained medical professionals can handle.

Here in Northern California (the best state for free aid … right?) there are very limited services and groups for the person with the dementia but quite a few free ones for caregivers. I will share my experience in dealing with these various organizations and what I wish we would have done in hindsight. I hope other caretakers will take time to offer advice as well. I imagine us all dementia sufferers, live in caretakers and immediate family in a sinking ship full of whole. It is our job to handle the situation as calmly as possible and be solution and action oriented.

Give your self major big time credit from caretaking and cohabitating with the sufferer as their condition progresses. Please know when to say when and when to ask for help.
I think the trick to staying sane (not that I am claiming I have) is humor, compassion, good friends and neighbors that will help you have time for your life as well.

You need to learn to balance your caretaking duties and amount of concern about the sufferer so you really get relaxed respite time. I fear that if you do not develop policies and limits you may be compromising your future, mental health, marriage, finances missing life’s opportunities. It is important to remain an individual with his or her own ideas. The drastic urgency of this message may seem silly to someone who has never been a full time caretaker, it is a daunting task.

I have gotten help from The Altimeters Association and a few in home support service people have ‘checked in’ regularly. But it is not enough so here I will be helping other and my family members get through these difficult and challenging times.